Evil Bong High-5 is the fifth proper installment in the Evil Bong franchise, from Full Moon Features, the creators of the Puppermaster and Gingerdead Man series. It follows in the wake of such ‘gems’ as Evil Bong 2: King Bong, Evil Bong 420, and Evil Bong vs. Gingerdead Man, all of which follow the Full Moon format for unapologetic B-movies, making their name with groan-worthy puns, edgy sex scenes, and relatively likeable characters.
Evil Bong High-5 finds our heroes, from Evil Bong vs Gingerdead Man, Rabbit (the creepy old man), Larnell (the typical stoner loser), lady friends Sarah and Velicity, and the Gingerdead Man himself trapped inside the Evil Bong, in the grips of the Bong World. After many previous failed escape attempts, they begin to lose hope for freedom, until Eebee announces her plan for world domination and sends Rabbit and Larnell to the real world to run a medical marijuana dispensary.
The storyline is, naturally, meant to be silly, bordering on ridiculous as most of the Full Moon output is, but this offering has significantly higher production values than many of its predecessors. For example, in the very beginning the Bong World is clearly CGI, with Bong Mountains and rainforests of pot plants, but the well-rendered imagery doesn’t look like it was generated in Microsoft paint.
The scenes within the Bong World, before Eebee begins her plans for world domination, are also executed surprisingly well. There are no long periods of silence and the actors’ conversations flow as best they can, given that they are stoned prisoners.
There are some random occurrences scattered throughout, such as Sarah’s desire to constantly crochet clothing from hemp because its ‘all natural’, which is fine. But then she makes a sweater for the Gingerdead Man, which makes no sense. Likewise, he accepts graciously, only focusing on topless women that are in endless supply in the Bong World, instead of making the vulgar puns he is known for. According to the movie summary he is ‘lobotomized’ which makes him tamer for the majority of the movie. Sadly, as a result, the Gingerdead Man isn’t out for blood, just carnal desire, and this was disappointing since the character is known primarily for gruesome murders and horrifically bad puns.
Unfortunately, Evil Bong High-5 takes a swift turn into dullness following the promise shown by the opening scenes. Things really take a turn for the worse when Larnell and Rabbit begin to run the medical marijuana dispensary. As insurance Eebee keeps Sarah and Velicity in the Bong World in the capable hands of two voluptuous women who are quite hands on with one another. While Eebee expects Rabbit and Larnell to raise one million dollars in thirty-days, their struggle is intermittent with increasingly sexy scenes between the girls and their captors that only serve to distract the viewer with beautiful women and bare breasts. Unfortunately for Larnell and Rabbit, in the real world, the clientele that starts to arrive isn’t exactly the spending type and the customers take the film to weird places.
For instance, the first person to arrive in the shop is Larnell’s grandfather, who has been seen in previous Evil Bong movies. He has come to show off a successful young relative to his loser grandson. However, the sequence lasts an awkwardly long amount of time and the fact that the grandfather doesn’t like Larnell is made abundantly clear, many times over, to the point of overkill. Other customers engage in similarly overdone conversations that, although shorter, still seem to take up too much time.
It doesn’t help that the customers are themselves all archetypes; the flamboyantly gay man, the Asian tourist, the prostitute selling herself for drugs, etc. One, in particular, dons a clown wig and a pig nose. This is Hambo, who has featured in previous movies. He arrives on the scene with grotesque dolls in a shopping cart and a sexy assistant, but armed with a clearly outdated camera, he spends time snapping pictures of the other archetypal customers and later makes them into completely offensive dolls.
The dolls are given names like ‘The Gook’, ‘The Butt Pirate’ and ‘The Crack Whore’, but following this bizarre and offensive sequence, there is an even weirder advertisement for badassdolls.com, which pauses the movie (in a sense) to sell Hambo’s dolls.
After the movie, curiosity struck, and I was shocked to discover that badassdolls.com is a real website and any viewer can buy the tasteless dolls that Hambo created in the movie. It is unclear whether the dolls were created specifically for Evil Bong High-5 or were manufactured after the fact, but it was disappointing that these scenes were wasted in the movie for shamelessly plugging merchandise (if, indeed, that’s all it was).
Overall, Evil Bong High-5 is not a cinematic masterpiece, but aside from the oddly placed advertisements, and weird swathes of too-long, overly-wordy sequences in the dispensary, it is enjoyable for what it is: a silly B-movie about bongs that shows a lot of boobs. You can check the film out on DVD June 22nd.
WICKED RATING: [usr 4]
Director(s): Charles Band
Writer(s): Charles Band, Kent Roudebush
Stars: Sonny Carl Davis, Robin Sydney, Amy Paffrath
Studio/ Production Co: Full Moon Features
Length: 70 Minutes
Sub-Genre: Horror, Comedy