Skate To Hell benefits from a bizarre ensemble cast
Skate To Hell is the kind of movie that will appeal to who it appeals to — and is probably too unsavory for anybody else. But I think that was the mission statement of director Shawn C. Phillips, who evidently wanted this neo-splatter flick to feel like all of the straight to video bloodbaths of the ’90s.
The story is secondary to the impressive gore effects. And rest assured, Skate To Hell has some GNARLY bloodshed, to the point the special effects rival, if not exceed, most of what you see in bigger budget, A-name movies getting produced these days. There’s no denying who the real star of the movie is here — and that’s the guy pumping the blood spray machine all over the set.
Of course, you have to have SOMETHING resembling a real plot to wrap all of the dismemberments and plasma explosions around. Skate To Hell essentially is the story of the son of Satan (played by Michael B. Moynahan) losing his possessed skateboard in the “real world.” And wouldn’t you know it, the movie is set in the shadows of Las Vegas, where there’s no shortage of sinful behavior going on.
Sort of the conceit of the movie is that whoever touches the skateboard is whisked away to their own “personal hell” — i.e., a kind of netherworld were they have to confront their worst nightmares. It’s a pretty good gimmick, although almost all of the nightmare sequences are played for comedy instead of straight horror. For example, Ruby (played by Elizabeth Chamberlain) finds herself stuck in a fate worse than death … having to do retail while a never-ending gauntlet of Karens yell at her for the most trifling and irrelevant things.
This is one of those movies with a LOT of subplots going on. Some of them overlap, some of them are seemingly just there to fill up space. For example, a recurring joke in the film revolves around the fruitless efforts of a VERY John Carpenter-like director trying to make a Hills Have Eyes-like B-movie out in the desert. There’s yet another subplot involving a homeless shelter run by, of all possible people, Todd Bridges, he of Diff’rent Strokes fame.
Which brings me to the reason to watch this movie in the first place: its INSANE ensemble cast. You’ll see a LOT of familiar faces in Skate To Hell, even if they’re only in the film for a scene or two. Lisa Wilcox, Jenna Jameson, Eric Roberts, even the late Robert Carradine pops up at one point. Half the fun of the movie is just waiting for the next niche celebrity to show up — and get summarily slaughtered, if the plot necessitates it.
From the name alone I guess you can deduce that Skate To Hell is hardly “high-brow” material. It’s a movie about fart jokes, graphic castrations, people eating urinal cakes, dudes catching axes to the nether regions and periodically smoking demonic joints that somehow cause fatal internal bleeding. If the idea of watching one actor puke worms into another actor’s mouth is too much for you, don’t say I didn’t warn you ahead of time.
Skate To Hell is pretty much the polar opposite of “elevated horror.” It makes no pretenses about what it is and doesn’t even attempt to provide the viewer with any socioculturally relevant messaging. It’s first and foremost a shameless bloodbath with humor on par with the first couple of seasons of “South Park.” People will inevitably hate this thing for the very same reasons other viewers will absolutely love it.
The movie reminded me a lot of a fairly forgotten little horror comedy from the ’90s called Highway To Hell (you know, the one starring the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer that featured a cameo from Gilbert Gottfried playing Hitler.) Whether or not that film was a direct influence on Skate To Hell is something you’d have to ask its writers. I think there’s also a little bit of a Kevin Smith influence here, especially Dogma. Maybe the best way to describe the film is Little Nicky meets Wishmaster … or maybe Hellraiser with a MAJOR contact high.
Skate To Hell is all about slit throats, exposed intestines and really gross jokes about self pleasure. And I think you already know whether or not this thing is palatable to your personal tastes judging by its trailer alone.
Now, we’ll just have to wait and see if the director — whose IMDb rap sheet includes Amityville Karen, Amityville Shark House AND Amityville Bigfoot — ever goes forward with the logical prequel.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch a 1999 period piece called “Razor Scooter To Hell?”
GIVE IT A WATCH IF YOU LIKE: The old Full Moon straight to video flicks, any of the Postal video games, flatulence
Director: Shawn C. Phillips
Writers: Shawn C. Phillips, Ethan Phillips
Starring: Joseph Poliquin, Elizabeth Chamberlain, Nicole Butler, Riley Wade Chase
Runtime: 100 minutes
Language: English
Distributor: Twin Engines Global
Release Date: March 2026
