Welcome to Horrible Films for Horrible People. This week, I’m using up my precious time to pay for the sins of Milan Todorovic and his latest directorial effort, Killer Mermaid (Nymph or Manula). Before I dive in, let me give you all a heads up. This film is not a comedy. There isn’t excessive gore, and for the perverts out there, there isn’t any sexing. Sorry.
Kelly, a writer who simply cannot stop working, is on vacation with her best friend Lucy, who doesn’t believe in clothes. The two are meeting up with Lucy’s ex Alex in Montenegro. Lucy is hoping to get some more sweet loving from her ex, Alex. Unfortunately, he brings his fiancée Yasmin who is immediately suspicious of Alex’s relationship with Kelly and Lucy. Clearly, Yasmin is aware of Alex’s skanky ways.
Killer Mermaid goes on for about an hour with absolutely nothing horrific other than bad acting, horrible dance moves and endless liquor guzzling. Somewhere along the lines, these friends decide to visit an abandoned island that was once a military prison. I have no idea what type of vacation this is supposed to be. But anyway, their conversation is overheard by an old, mysterious fisherman named Niko, who clearly knows about all things mystical and warns the friends for with a ten minute story. Do these friends listen? Of course they don’t. Before arriving at the island, the friends are joined by Yamin’s friend or…ex friend with benefits named Boban.
Eventually, the group rides in Boban’s small boat to the abandoned island where there is nothing to see since it’s abandoned. It’s abandoned, so I don’t know what the rush is for this group of nosey losers to go there in the first place. While closely admiring the boring stone walls on the island since that’s all there is to see, somehow the friends see another old, creepy, mysterious Nazi-looking man pouring a bucket of bloody chunks into a well. He’s a wild, crazed old man with a gun and he isn’t afraid to kill people. Kelly decides that she would like to take pictures of whatever is in the well. That’s when she notices there is a girl in there. The old man sees the friends and chases them all over the raggedy island with his gun.
Eventually, we get to see the mermaid. Boring. I wasn’t blown away; in fact, it was forgettable. We also find out that the old nazi man who doesn’t have a name is actually the mermaid’s guardian. The mermaid sings to hypnotize men and the old man stabs them and feeds them to her. Oh, by the way, the mermaid’s singing sucks. I did not find it the slightest bit hypnotizing or intoxicating. I just found it annoying. The special effects in the film were soggy, like two day old cereal. Throughout the picture, it just seemed like the whole storyline was a complete struggle. A mermaid that kills with a large mouth and sharp teeth is a pretty cool idea; however, it just came off cheesy, especially the way the mermaid was moving. She was super slow. I suppose it was intended to be sexy? Furthermore, the characters were typical, I didn’t feel connected to anyone, nor did I feel bad for the characters when they inevitably died.
Despite Killer Mermaid‘s unique intentions, it ends up being a typical, low-budget horror feature. It took me about four nights to complete this film since I fell asleep each time I tried to watch it.
WICKED RATING: 1.5/10
Title: Killer Mermaid
Director: Milan Todorovic
Writer(s): Marko Backovic
Stars: Kristina Klebe, Franco Nero
Studio/ Production Co: Viktorija Film, Talking Wolf Productions
Length: 94 Minutes
Sub-Genre: Horror, Fantasy