Horror movies have long tapped into the fears of the society, taking what scares us most and exaggerating it. I noticed a trend, thanks in large part to our 16 seed Christian from Midsommar, of horror movies featuring boyfriends (and husbands) who are beyond bad. The men on this list gaslight, cheat, abuse, and in the worst cases murder their significant others.
But which one of these dirtbags is the actual worst?
Let us know here!
See the full rules here.
If you’re not sure who anyone is, or who you think is worse, we’ve got some information for you below!
Billy Loomis from Scream (2) versus Henry Spencer from Eraserhead (31)
Billy Loomis is a quintessentially bad boyfriend. Since Scream is from 1996, I’m going to spoil it: he murdered Sydney’s mother. Then he killed a few other members of their friend group. After that he tried to kill Sydney! The cherry on top? He tried to pin it all on her father.
Henry Spencer is in a bad spot, but his reaction is what lands him in this tournament. His inability to love his admittedly weird child is a serious fault. His girlfriend then wife, X, deserves better. She deserves a present father who at least tries to love their baby.
He from Antichrist (15) versus Seth Brundle from The Fly (18)
He is basically on this list because he’s in a Lars Von Trier movie. Everyone in the provocateur’s films are as bad as, or worse than, you can imagine. There’s few pains that are as bad as losing a child, but He manages to react in a way that makes it worse from She and continues to make the s****iest possible decision at each turn.
Meanwhile, Seth Brundle, is a nerdy scientist who meets the love of his life at a bad time. Ronnie tries to help him, but he repeatedly pushes her away. He cheats on her, yet Ronnie still won’t give up on him. She keeps trying to help him despite his swollen ego and half fly genes getting in the way. Brundlefly is that much worse because he can’t return the love she gives him.
Richard from Revenge (10) versus Shigeharu Aoyama from Audition (23)
As you can see from the picture, Richard has an immensely punchable face. Revenge, an excellent film, opens with Jen taking a trip with Richard to a house only accessible by helicopter. He’s cheating on his wife with her, and he brings two friends on their romantic getaway. They rape her, throw her off a mountain, and leave her for dead. That’s when the Revenge starts.
Shigeharu Aoyama is a widower, and I felt for him until he and his friend set up the titular audition to meet women. The part the young women are pouring their hearts and souls into doesn’t exist. When he meets Asami, he thinks that he’s getting what’s coming to him. He’s more right than he knows.
Hugh from It Follows (7) versus Clay Dalton from Drag Me to Hell (26)
Hugh, like many of the other men on this list, is on here because of the information he withheld. He knew, long before he convinced Jay to have sex with him, that It is after him. He knows that once they’ve had sex, It will be after Jay. It will hound her until she’s had sex with someone else. He also loses points for his sexist comments on how easy it is for women to have sex as well.
Clay Dalton is from one of the other frequently recurring types. Christine tells him that she’s being haunted and he doesn’t listen. She tells him again and he doesn’t listen again. He’s lower on the list than he would because he eventually tries to help her after he sees one of her supernatural beatings.
Andy Kitzmiller from Knives and Skin (3) versus Columbus from Zombieland: Double Tap (30)
Knives and Skin is one of my favorite movies from last year. Kitzmiller is at the quarry with Carolyn in the opening scene of the film. The two are making out, and when she decides she doesn’t want to anymore, he knocks her down, breaking her glasses. After that, she goes missing, which kicks off the main plot of the film.
They were on a break. Ross from Friends would have Columbus’s back. After his girlfriend Wichita leaves him, he immediately sleeps with someone new. It’s kind of remarkable that he does it so fast during a zombie apocalypse. It wouldn’t be as bad if he were upfront about it a few days later when Wichita returns, hoping to reunite. Who knows how long he would’ve kept lying to her if she hadn’t caught him.
Mark from Possession (14) versus Dr. Henry Frankenstein from Frankenstein (1931) (19)
I bought my first Blu-ray player so I could watch Andrzej Żuławski’s Possession again. This film has been favorably compared to Ingmar Bergman’s Scenes from a Marriage. Both tell intense diverse stories. The main difference is that while Possession starts as a melodrama, it soon careens into horrific surrealism. Mark promises Anna that he wants to part peacefully, but he can’t keep his word, going insane in Sam Neill’s most frenetic performance ever.
Dr. Henry Frankenstein is the archetype for a bunch of the bad boyfriends on here. He neglects his fiancée, Elizabeth, to build a new person out of stolen body parts. Then he neglects the creature he made (it’s really weird that people insist on calling him “the monster”) and it kills Elizabeth.
Sir Thomas Sharpe from Crimson Peak (11) versus David Kessler from An American Werewolf in London (22)
Sir Thomas Sharpe is bad even before the twist in Crimson Peak reveals his true intentions. If your significant other withholds life-threatening information, you should break up with them. Sharpe knows about the ghosts and what they’ve done to his previous life and chooses not to tell Edith Cushing any of it. If you think that you’re mad now wait til you find out why he did it.
Let’s play a logic game. Say you knew that you were going to turn into a werewolf and lose control, killing anyone within physical proximity to you. Would that be the right time to start a new relationship? David Kessler would tell you, yes, since that’s exactly what he did. After her experiences with him, Alex Price, would probably tell you the opposite.
Crispian Davison from You’re Next (6) versus Duncan Havermyer from Satanic Panic (27)
Meeting your significant other’s parents is always hard. There’s a pressure to get them to like you. It’s a bit harder for Erin when she joins her 1% rich boyfriend Crispian’s family for his parent’s wedding anniversary. SPOILERS FOR ONE OF THE BEST HORROR FLICKS OF THE 2010S AHEAD. It’s impossible to get them to like her when Crispian, played perfectly by AJ Bowen, hired a team of mercenaries to kill everyone but him and still decided to bring her as a guest.
Duncan Havermyer, also played by AJ Bowen, brags about listening to audiobooks while he works out. There are murderers on this list that I would rather spend time with than Duncan Havermyer. He hits on every woman he sees, smells, or hears. Thankfully, Satanic Panic turns that lechy eagerness against him.
Vote for the boyfriends you hate the most here! And make sure you come back tomorrow for Round 2!